The Hurt Is Real

I'm just going to come out and say it, I'm having a rough go right now.  I have been on an emotional roller coaster of major highs and massive lows. I get beautiful glimpses of glory and on the heels, a horrific understanding of hurt. I'm giving God all of it and trying to remember who I am in Him, but it's hard at times.  The hurt is real. How can I be in a place I find such joy and be getting wounded? What is the meaning of that? The truth is, when we finally come to a place of deeper understanding of who we are in Christ and how to live in Christ, we will find ourselves being attacked by evil. My prayer for you, if you are finding yourself in this place, is that God would bind the evil one and continue to deepen your joy. Who am I kidding? This is my prayer for myself right now.  I feel a bit like a psalmist. Take heart! If you're being attacked, you're relationship with Jesus is probably in a really good spot.  Keep it up, my brothers and sisters in Christ!

Nothing Better

It is amazing how life-giving moments can be when you are used by God for others. When I am in the most uncomfortable place, God decides to lob in a whopper and I am blown away by His grace and provision. I'm almost to the point that I feel dumb about it.  Why did I question? Why was a I whiny? Why did I think it wasn't fair? Then God shows me and I'm jerked back to humility. Dad spoke of each of us being on the planet for one person, maybe more for some of us. The moments when God gives you the glimpse of that person is breathtaking and humbling. I am at a loss for words a bit today, so I'm hoping this makes sense as I type it. My heart is so full and my soul is at peace. Ah, to be an instrument of the Creator of the universe...there is nothing better. May you get a glimpse of that one for whom you are here. There may be many, but I pray you see at least one. It is powerful.

Grace or Criticism?

Sometimes we have the opportunity to show grace or be critical.  We might even have the opportunity to be critical and it's merited. When that happens to you, what is your go to?  Are you the type of person who extends grace to all, even when it's unmerited, or are you critical of others because you can be? This is a hard question for me to answer. I would like to think that I extend grace to everyone. I mean, after all, God has mercy on me in my imperfect state. Unfortunately, I know I don't always extend grace. I know I can be critical at times, mostly when it comes to an issue of control.  God is challenging me with this. I've been grasping to take back control of things I had once turned over to Him. I'm critical of others who don't "control" things like I would. It's super unhealthy. God's working on me. Please don't be critical of me, but rather extend me grace. I'm trying to do the same. My heart change is not in my control. Thankfully, God's got it.

A Humble Spirit

Father, thank you for your guidance and mercy. I pray that your love will radiate through me to those around me.  I pray that others will see you first, always.  Keep my spirit humble and my heart kind. Make my soul soft and caring, that I will listen.  Be ever-present. Your will be done and the may you receive all of the glory. Amen.

With Me Always

These last two weeks have been a transition time for me.  I headed back to work to a new school, but in a familiar position. I have had new people to get to know, new tools to use, and new ways of doing and thinking. If you know me, you know I like change, so that's not been so difficult. But just because I like change doesn't make it easy. As a matter of fact, one of the hardest parts of this change for me is that I had to leave people.  I keep in contact, but the truth of the matter is, I miss them daily. These are the times when I am very aware of the constancy of my relationship with Jesus.  He is with me always. He is why I am able to make the change, leaving familiar things and people and move forward. I'm not paralyzed. Even when the change is hard and uncomfortable, I am able to rest in the familiar arms of Jesus knowing I am loved, cared for, and understood. I'm gaining a clearer understanding of why it is so important for me to tend my relationship with Christ and spend as much time with Him as I possibly can.  He knows me best and He is the only one who is with me always.

Not About Performance

Today I'm grateful that God's love for me is not based on my performance. It is very freeing knowing that I am loved unconditionally. God does not put my good deeds on one side of the scale and my bad deeds on the other. I don't have to 'hope' I've been good enough to get into Heaven or that my good deeds have outweighed my bad. Jesus' death on the cross has paid the penalty for my bad. I can live in Him knowing that I am loved by God undoubtedly and I will be in Heaven with Him for eternity. And that's just the beginning of what God's unconditional love does for me. :-)

When God Is Silent

I have sat for almost 30 minutes and have no coherent thoughts to write about.  Some days you just come up dry.  It doesn't mean that the time I spent seeking God wasn't worth it or wasn't valuable.   It also doesn't mean that God doesn't care or is upset with me.  It simply means God knows when my heart is ready to receive His word and when it isn't. Sometimes the best thing for me is just to spend the quiet time with God, seeking Him, and giving Him my attention. I'm not concerned about His silence. I'm glad I had the time with Him.  We'll see what tomorrow brings.