So This Is 40

If you asked me at 25 where I thought my life would be when I was 40, I definitely had an expectation.  I would have told you married, with twins (not sure how I figured that was going to happen), principal in the SFSD, and financially secure as a short list.  I mean, after all, that is the normal way life goes for most people. It seemed incredibly reasonable and attainable.

And, here I sit, at 40, and the only thing I have achieved according to my 25 year-old self is that I am married.  And, frankly, I'm married to someone I would have never thought about at 25.  If you would have told me at 25 that when I was 40 I would be married to a musician and filmmaker, with no children, working for his (and my) business and financially eeking by, I would have never believed it.

So this is life at 40. I'm married to a guy who is my best friend and everything I needed in a husband, and isn't at all what I was looking for at 25.  I don't have kids, and I'm totally okay with that, since I've parented about 2000 in my education career. I have been there, almost done that with my educator career.  And while that ended as somewhat of a disappointment for me, the blessings of being "retired" from that career at 40 are far outweighing what that career would have ever been.  And financially, we are actually in a better place today than we've ever been with very little cash flow.

What can I say? God has known the best life for me my entire life.  He has had me on the best path, even when I was walking blindly on it.  Do I regret the things I tried to attain and the effort I put forth to get them?  Not even close, for that effort has made me the person I am today.  I can look at a life that does not meet my 25-year-old self's expectations and see the hand of God throughout. I've learned to live with expectancy in God's work, not expectations that are of the world.  I am living the best possible life in Christ, no doubt about it.  The joy and sorrow of all that has been is what gives me the hope and assurance that Jesus is always with me and God is always working on my behalf.

Oh yeah, and the whole Mom pancreatic cancer battle...well that's is just another unexpected at 40. There is so much more depth to my life because of her battle, but there's not even room for that in this post.  It's already too long. 😉

Blessings on you as you walk through life.  Seek the One who made you, for He knows what is best for you.  The glory is God's!  Jeremiah 29:11