Taking a Break

I think I'm needing to take a break from writing for a bit.  I feel very drained and not super aware of what's going on with God and me right now.  So, here's the deal, I'm going to sign off until July 2.  I need the days to regroup and recenter without having to post anything.  Breaks are good.  I'm not breaking from God mind you, just from posting.  I will be spending a large part of my 7 days in prayer and devotional thought.  You should try it too!

Enjoy the Moment

I don't have any words today.  My mind is blank and I'm okay with that.  Some days you just need to sit, drink your coffee, and enjoy the moment God gave you to be still.  :-)

Forgive vs. Enable

Forgiveness is such an interesting part of life.  I often find myself on both ends, giving and receiving.  The world can be a frustrating place at times and I struggle with the line of forgiving and enabling.  Liz and I had a great conversation, in which she shared about the fact that when people were in the presence of Jesus they just knew in their hearts that what they were doing was wrong, He didn't need to tell them.  Unfortunately, when we love on people, they often take that as acceptance of their actions.  With Jesus, this was not an issue because people felt loved by Him differently.  They knew He loved them as a person, not because of or in spite of their actions.  His love is deeper.  So then, it becomes imperative for us to love the person, not the actions, and make that apparent in how we talk to each other.  I do this with kids all of the time.  I am very particular in the words I say to children when dealing with behavior, and I tell them constantly how much I like them, right in the midst of reprimanding them.  I don't think it's that simple with adults, but I do think it is doable.  This is a huge topic and I have a lot more to say, but I like to keep these short. ;-)  Love people.

Comfort Zone

Why is it that we get all excited about something new coming into our lives, but then when it actually happens, we feel awful at the start.  There are feelings of regret, sadness, hopelessness, even frustration.  And yet, it generally is something we were really looking forward to happening.  That's where I am right now.  I was so ready and excited for change and now that it's actually happened, I'm feeling apprehensive.  I'm not sure why this is.  I think it is a stretching of our comfort zone.  We are put into a new arena of finding a comfort zone where there is no "zone" to begin with.  We struggle to find our place within the new, and even with our old things around us (I'm speaking particularly about my office space now) we aren't feeling comfort.  So why does God give us these opportunities? Where and how is He calling us to grow with Him in the newness?  These new situations make us trust God on a completely new level.  We step deeper into relationship with Him because He becomes our only comfort zone.  He is the one thing that never changes, which is so comforting.  It's interesting then that we so long for change in our lives, when what we go back to is exactly what, or who, we know.  I'm learning to let God be my comfort zone, so that I am content in any and all situations.

No Clarity...Yet

Today is a day to be still.  This is one of those times where I am needing to just sit and let God speak. I don't have any particular thing going on right now.  I am feeling a little foggy, so I'm searching for clarity.  God has been clear about the truth that He's got it, but I'm  not even sure what "it" is.  I'm in confusion mode.  Sometimes things with God just take more time than a couple of days.  Alright, anything worth anything when it comes to walking with God takes a solid amount of time.  I'm okay with that.  I just wish I knew what this was about.  Alas, no clarity to be had just yet.

Simply Written

Lord, thank you for the written word.  You have given us much power in your own Word and in the words you've given us to write.  Help us to see what you are revealing and to understand who you are as we read your Word and as you speak to us. Amen.

Reboot in the Spirit

I can tell I'm needing some down time.  Time when I can just sit and let my mind do the same, just sit.  It isn't so easy to get that time these days.  There are so many things that I let take up my time.  It's things like Facebook or just going somewhere for lunch or watching TV.  It's all things I can easily say no to and yet I don't.  I let them suck my time away.  Well, now it's my vacation time and I'm going to take back my time.  I'm going to spend some down time, letting my mind slow so that it can rejuvenate.  This is my time to spend a little quiet time with God and give Him the opportunity to build my spirit back.  After a year of school with kids, families, and staff, I'm more than a little worn down.  Time for a reboot in the Spirit.  :-)  I would encourage others of you who have vacation time to be sure you take it.  We need this time, even if our culture seems to think we don't because it looks lazy.  It's not.  It's healthy.

A Little Too Personal

I am all sorts of feelings today, which is surprising me.  I guess i just need to take some time to talk to God very specifically and write some prayers.  That's my go to in these moments.  It's a little more personal than my blog, so I'll be doing that without y'all. ;-)  I encourage each of you to do the same.  Written prayers are powerful!

A Lasting Mark

Today I was reading in Joshua about the 12 stones chosen for the 12 tribes set as an alter.  The words that stuck out in particular were "and they are still there this day".  It got me to thinking, what do I put my efforts toward that will leave a lasting mark?  What impact am I having that will affect the world for years to come?  It is such a different way for me to think.  I often think of relationships with people that I know have had a large impact, even an eternal one at that, but I don't often think about what I will leave behind.  I think about how to help people in their here and now.  I guess I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.  I'm beginning, and I mean at this very moment, to think about what it is God is asking, or has asked, me to do that will leave, or is leaving, a deeper mark.  Just food for thought today.

Oh, the Irony!

I'm finding a new reality about myself when it comes to being transformed by grace.  There is a particular level of effort on my part to stay connected to God and to seek the Spirit's moving in the area of transformation.  When I don't put any focus on the needed change and just leave it to God to do, I don't experience any type of transforming power, nothing begins to change.  I've asked God what part He would like me to have in this, and He has given me an answer.  His response, as always, is something that continues to connect me back to Jesus and causes reflection on how the Spirit is transforming me.  It's not that I am doing the changing, but rather that I stay connected to God throughout the transformation so that I can fully experience the Spirit's work.  This is easier said than done.  I know what it is God is asking from my effort, but, unfortunately, I haven't put the effort in to make the time to do what He's asked.  This is the reality, if I truly want God to transform my heart, then I have to be willing to walk the path He sets before me and do the things He has asked.  Sometimes those things are easier, in my opinion, than others.  This time, God has asked me to do a written journal of the journey.  I'm not going to lie, I'm really bad at keeping a daily journal.  I know that sounds ironic since I write this blog daily, but it's the truth.  I will need God's help just to do the simple task He's asked of me.  I can't even do the thing He requests of me without Him, why in the world would I think I can transform my own heart?!  Ugh!

Love In the Storm

When I started my time with God today, my question was, "Lord, what do you want to teach me today?"  The answer, Love in the storm.  I'm not even sure what this means exactly yet.  My first thought is about showing love to both sides in an argument.  Then I think about remaining calm and stable during a fight.  Or maybe, it's recognizing where God is in the midst of chaos.  I think all of those ideas are an accurate portrayal of love in the storm.  I get caught up in the moment and forget about what I know is truth.  Loving in the storm comes from the soul.  It isn't something that is conjured up or toughed out.  It is allowing the Spirit to fill the empty places that emerge during the storm and giving in to the power of the Savior.  All Jesus did was love in the storm.  It was a constant for Him.  Who better to do it in us, then?  Seeking God in all things and responding with a humble heart, those are the goal to love in the storm.

Cut the Crap

Choose love.  It has become a common phrase I hear and read these days.  We seem to do this often with phrases.  Choose joy.  Choose peace.  Choose happiness.  So I'm going to post on this idea.  I think it's crap.  Yep, I'm just going to say it outright.  These phrases are crap.  They sound great and they get lots of attention and "likes", but what good do they really do?  How much do they really change your life.  If you walk around your world saying, "I'm going to choose love" or "I'm going to choose happiness", how's that going for you?  Does it really help you when life gets real? And I mean really real.  For instance, when you're faced with an absolute problem, like death, can you really just choose peace?  When a family member is diagnosed with a life threatening illness, can you really just choose happiness?  The answer is no. No you can't just choose whatever emotion or state of being you want to have about the situation.  And the reality is, you can say it's what you're going to choose, but actually feeling peace, love, joy, happiness,  or whatever you want to put in that phrase, isn't going to happen.  If it were, the world would be a lovely place.  Many people are choosing love.  Many people are choosing happiness.  Lots of people are choosing peace.  But the world is a mess; it's still broken.  Why is that?  It's because we are choosing the wrong things.  We are choosing feelings and states of being.  There is only one choice to make that will actually affect your feelings and state of being.  He's a person. Choose Jesus.  If He is our go to, then we don't even need to choose those other things.  Love, joy, peace, happiness...just come with knowing Him.  Cut the crap, people.  Choose Jesus.

Ponder

Pick one word today that stands out to you and ponder it in your heart.

Isaiah 43:19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

The Battle Is Real

God seems to give me times of processing so that He can point out the next area of growth in the most obvious way possible.  Out of nowhere comes the newest bit to give up to Him.  For me it is an area that I have tried to hand over many times with good intentions.  I even plan what I will do when I am faced with the temptation and what my thought process will be.  Well, that's the problem.  I plan what I'm going to do.  I haven't yet just left it to God and asked, "What do you want me to do?"  I know God's ultimate plan is to change my heart such that current temptation is no longer an issue.  That my heart will change to want what it is that He wants me to do when the situation arises.  God doesn't remove the temptation.  He makes the temptation no longer enticing to the flesh.  Our soul becomes the focus rather than our flesh when we give the flesh over to Jesus.  This is not going to be an easy battle.  I'm even going to call it a battle, because that is what it will feel like for me.  I'm starting by asking God, What do you require of me and my effort as you fight this battle for me?  I cannot do this one at any level.  I need you completely on this.  May your Spirit infiltrate mine that my response is solely you responding for me.  Give me the wisdom to know my part. Amen.

Recognize Our Own Darkness

Why do we thrive on the horrible in others?  Why do we get enjoyment out of viewing others in a negative light?  What is that?  And, we all get sucked into it.  It's like we thrive on other people's misfortune, pain and sickness.  Yuck!  Yep, we are broken.  So, what's the fix?  No matter how hard we try to not get caught up in the drama, or try to not think about someone else's situation, we compare, judge, and talk.  By the grace of God He begins the process of changing our hearts and making them such that our fascination with the sick turns into compassion for the hurting.  We see people as Jesus sees them.  It's like God takes over our whole being, when we allow Him to.  He gives us the eyes, ears, mouths, mind, and heart of Jesus.  And the cool thing is, it's actually Jesus in us, not us being like Jesus.  Of course, this takes time, but it can be done.  We first have to recognize our own darkness and want to have light shone on it.  Let it happen!  It is truly life changing for you and those around you.  Grace in action is about transformation of the heart.

Favorite Time

I've run into another road block with my spiritual walk.  My mind can't seem to think any deep thoughts.  My ears cannot hear what God is saying.  My eyes are seeing Him at work, but there isn't any newness to that vision.  I believe sometimes God lets us sit in what we know for a while.  I believe He takes us to a new place with Him with deeper understanding and then gives us time to process and let it sink into our soul.  That's what I think is happening right now.  I believe God has revealed new learning about meeting Him where He is, which I have done, and now I need to time to fully grasp all that this means.  It's not easy.  It takes years and multiple paths to fully understand.  I'm okay with that.  I'm okay with spending time with God when nothing amazing is happening.  As a matter of fact, those are my favorite times.  Not talkin' or nothing. Just sittin' there. (hijacked that line from a movie)

Do You?

All I have to say today is... 

GOD IS BIG ENOUGH

...for whatever you've got going on. 

Do you believe it?

Topped Out

Today is one of those days where I find myself lacking the ability to stay focused on any one thing for too long.  As a matter of fact, my mind seems to be void of really anything.  I am topped out, brain-wise.  There is nothing more I can think or focus on.  I am able to sit in the quiet and let my ears attune to the sounds around me.  It is calming.  I believe in the importance of taking time to be still, as you may already know from reading my blog.  Today is a still day.  Sometimes God forces them on me by not giving me anything in particular to think about.  He has to do so because I just go, go, go.  Thank you, Lord for the quiet, calm moments you provide.

Not For Sissies

I don't like the fact that satan knows exactly how to get me to doubt what I know God is doing.  He has the exact tactics that shake me a bit and cause me to get frustrated or question what God is doing. Satan is so slick.  It's never something that is super obvious to me.  It happens and I start talking to Dalton about the situation and then he is the one who says, "Boy, satan knows how to get you going."  Ugh!  Yes he does.  The good thing is, I have people in my world who remind me of what I know and more importantly who I know.  Thankfully, no matter how frustrated or distracted I am by the ploys of satan, the Spirit of God is at work in, around, and through me to get me back onto course.  When things start to go wonky, I'm getting better about taking that step back and looking at it from above with Kingdom eyes.  Being a Christian is not for sissies.

Prayer for More

Father, as the days progress and the time moves quickly, I pray that you would slow my course that I may come into deeper contact with you to bring about the real change that I know you desire for my life.  Give me the opportunity to grow my faith and strengthen our relationship. Amen.

Sorrow and Expectation

Today I'm thinking about the end of a season of life and taking time to reflect on how I've been shaped during this season.  This is not a one blog post type of deal.  It is really the start of a long process of gleaning how my relationship with God has changed and what He and I will begin to focus on next.  There is an element of sadness of leaving behind people I hold so dearly, along with an element of excitement as to what God has in store.  As life moves there is always seems to be the pairing of sorrow and expectation.  It is a beautiful pairing by God that gives us the opportunity to embrace all that He offers through life in Christ.  I hope to find the beauty in both the sorrow and expectation during this time.

Leadership of Jesus

I have spent time contemplating the leadership of Jesus and trying to put that to work in my own world of leadership.  It is not an easy thing to do.  Jesus gave grace to all in need, specifically those undeserving.  He was a servant to His disciples, to the point of taking on the lowest position and washing their feet.  He gave of Himself at all times, even when He was awoken from sleep to immediately calm the storm.  Jesus wasn't understood often times when He spoke to His followers.  He was cast out by those who were supposed to be His biggest supporters, the Pharisees.  So, how do I apply this to my leadership role?  Honestly, I can't.  The only way I can lead like Jesus, is to live in Jesus.  He has to make my heart His heart.  The Holy Spirit must infiltrate all aspects of what I do or I am nothing but a boss.  Leading others is not easy work.  It is being strong in your beliefs and holding firm, while allowing grace as necessary.  It is giving of yourself to serve others' needs and carrying the burdens of the many you hold in your care.  This is only done well and with impact when it is done in Christ.  Yes, I am called to lead.  Thankfully, by the grace of God, in Jesus, I can do so for His glory.

Enjoy the Ride

Some days you just have to enjoy the ride while you're on it.  There are so many different moments in every day, so to walk away with nothing from a day seems a little irresponsible.  Take time to look at each person you meet today.  When you ask someone how they're doing, actually wait for a response and respond to it.  Give of your time to someone, even though you may not have another second to give.  Even in the difficult moments, be sure to grow.  There is never a wasted minute when you consider the deeper meaning for who you are becoming.  God is everywhere, so enjoy Him!

Some Things Never Change

Isaiah 53:5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought up peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Today the phrase "by his wounds we are healed" has been running through my mind.  I think that is because I have been convicted about my own issues that continue to creep back into places I do not want them.  Then I feel guilty and frustrated because they are something that I feel like should be taken care of already.  I have turned them over to God and yet find myself continuing with them on my own.  Sometimes I think we need to have an environmental change or a change in personnel within our walk.  I am reminded to think about where I spend my time, with whom I spend my time, and what I spend my time doing.  For some reason I think that those kinds of reflection only need to happen when you are a kid, but the reality is that we spend a lifetime adjusting our lives to put ourselves in the best possible place to see/hear/reflect Jesus.