Oh, the Irony!

I'm finding a new reality about myself when it comes to being transformed by grace.  There is a particular level of effort on my part to stay connected to God and to seek the Spirit's moving in the area of transformation.  When I don't put any focus on the needed change and just leave it to God to do, I don't experience any type of transforming power, nothing begins to change.  I've asked God what part He would like me to have in this, and He has given me an answer.  His response, as always, is something that continues to connect me back to Jesus and causes reflection on how the Spirit is transforming me.  It's not that I am doing the changing, but rather that I stay connected to God throughout the transformation so that I can fully experience the Spirit's work.  This is easier said than done.  I know what it is God is asking from my effort, but, unfortunately, I haven't put the effort in to make the time to do what He's asked.  This is the reality, if I truly want God to transform my heart, then I have to be willing to walk the path He sets before me and do the things He has asked.  Sometimes those things are easier, in my opinion, than others.  This time, God has asked me to do a written journal of the journey.  I'm not going to lie, I'm really bad at keeping a daily journal.  I know that sounds ironic since I write this blog daily, but it's the truth.  I will need God's help just to do the simple task He's asked of me.  I can't even do the thing He requests of me without Him, why in the world would I think I can transform my own heart?!  Ugh!