Real Perspective

I was reminded today of the importance of perspective. Everyone handles situations so differently.  I usually relate this as pain is pain, whether it's pain in your toe or pain from treatment. We have to be careful not to negate other's feelings because we don't think their situation is that significant. Now, it's wise to get a little perspective for your own self on that.  It's good to think about how your situation is in relation to another's just to keep yourself in check. This can go too far though.  One might say, "I had a terrible day and I'm sad about it." A response could be, "Well at least you're not dying of cancer." While this statement is accurate, and one would definitely be a more difficult circumstance than the other, we need to be sure to have compassion for one another. This was something I saw my mother do beautifully as she fought her cancer battle. When life seemed to have it's difficult moments, and I didn't want to "complain" because I wasn't "dying of cancer," Mom would encourage me to talk through those tough times with her. Even when they seemed petty to me, they were important to her. Her compassion was present and her concern for my well-being was completely selfless. This is what real perspective is...being amidst the trials of your own life and having compassion for other's trials, whether great or small.

Deeper Together

Is God the center of my life? Am I rooted in Him? How deep are my roots? Lately it seems as though there are many things Dalton and I are awaiting. Situations we thought would be resolved by now or would at least be heading toward resolution are still hanging out there. We feel as though we don't have any more ideas to try and our last ditch efforts, we are hoping, don't come up short. With that, I've been having to dig deep lately. I've had to recenter myself by spending quality time with Jesus.  I've had to request peace and discernment for next steps. We are seeking God's will and taking steps based on where doors are opening and closing. We've been quite befuddled at times. We've been quite excited at times.  We've been quite annoyed at times. We been quite anxious at times. Thankfully, in all of those emotions, Jesus is constant.  We bend and sway, but we are not shaken at our roots.  Our roots are firmly planted and we are using this time to grow deeper together in Christ. I wish it didn't take hard times to grow.  I wish we would seek God just as much in the good times. Alas, we are human. And, who am I kidding, I enjoy the grace that abounds in those tough moments. I just wish we could have some type of closure somewhere. ;-)

Nothing Left

I have nothing left, physically, spiritually, or emotionally. I'll be back tomorrow.

Forge Ahead

I've been dealing with little bouts of feeling unsettled lately.  They happen in all areas of my life, at home, at work, during workouts, during shopping.  My spirit just feels odd.  Everything from nervousness to lack of interest. I am in a current process of change in multiple areas of life. This causes the unrest. I'm seeking God's movement. The difficulty is that when there are so many areas that seem to be works of progress, I get lost in what's what. These are the times when I sit alone and focus on Jesus.  I close my eyes and say His name over and over.  I try to visualize His feet at the base of the throne as I kneel before Him.  This is the only thing that calms me and gives me rest. I don't get answers in that moment, but I find I don't need them.  This rest gives me the strength to forge ahead and continue to seek Him.

More Than a Conquerer

I'm pondering faith. It's important to put our faith in God, obviously. Unfortunately, I think we fall into the trap of having faith in our faith. We have faith that if we believe in a thing hard enough, long enough, sincere enough, it will come to pass.  This is having faith in faith. Having faith in God looks very differently. Faith in God leaves the will of a thing to His care. It means trusting God enough that in the circumstance and in the outcome you can fully know He is sovereign and His will is perfect. Faith in God means trusting your spirit to His. Only then will you fully know faith. Then you will gain a peace that passes all understanding. Your soul will rest in Jesus and your faith will lead you home to Him, both figuratively and, eventually, literally. Faith the size of a mustard seed, if put in the Father, can move mountains because He is that mighty.  Trust in the strength of the Father, put your faith in His Son, and let His Spirit bring you peace that passes understanding, then you will be more than a conquerer of this world.

Your Love

Father, I thank you for your protection and concern over my life. I thank you that you care for each and every step I take. You watch over my comings and goings and prepare a way for me that is the best possible. Thank you for the way you love on me and the way you instill deep compassion in me. Your love is what makes my life possible.  Thank you. Amen.

So Simple

It seems so simple, positive words and a smile, but sometimes those are hard things to come by. I wonder what Jesus' smile looked like. I wonder what it felt like to have him look you in the eye. I believe his eyes were awe-inspiring to look into. Something about it makes me think you felt like he looked into your soul when he looked at you. Jesus changed so many lives by simply loving people.  He cared for them and they knew how deeply and unconditionally he loved each and every one of them.  People sought him out knowing that he could do something about their condition. I have a feeling some of them were surprised to learn that their healed condition was more spiritual than physical. I seek to do for others what Jesus did, to unconditionally love and care for them. It takes the Spirit within to even begin this process, but I can tell God has been doing some major work in my heart to get me closer to that desire.

Family

Family is kind of a big deal to me. I truly enjoy spending time with Dalton, Dad, and Liz. We know we are very fortunate to have the relationships we have.  It is not something we take for granted.  Today, I think that's all I've got, I'm thankful for my family. Who in your world are you truly thankful for? Who brings you joy? Who makes you feel loved unconditionally? Who would you spend time with if you only had five minutes? Make the time and love on your loved ones a bit. :-)

Rescued From Myself

I am amazed at how run down my mind can get.  I get to a point where my mind is mushy and I can't focus on anything, which I know I've posted about.  My take away is this. I need to do a better job of caring for myself.  I'm often thinking of others and being sure to care for their needs and then forget about my own.  I don't do a good job of time management and find myself at a loss of brain power and energy, without the opportunity to even take time to rejuvenate.  I am now starting to carve out particular parts of my day that are spent just sitting and reflecting on Jesus.  I try to stop my mind, or at least slow it (I mean let's be real, I do have ADHD), as well as slow my body and give myself a little time to regenerate my entire system.  I do so much better on the days I do this.  I need to be much more intentional about it though.  I am not nearly as consistent with it as I could be. It's a goal I have, to give Jesus the time to rescue me from myself.

Not Feeling Awesome

Why do I have to have tough moments?  Why is it that I get moving along just fine, thinking all is going well and then BAM! I'm hit with a solid 15 minutes of ick.  I know everyone has these moments.  And I know Satan knows the best way to get me. Sometimes I feel like I'm already down and then Satan decides to kick me while I lay there. Sadly, I just have to be in the moment.  I have to meet the fear face to face. I have to see it for what it is and get a new perspective on it...a God perspective. I'm tired of not being on the mountain. I'm tired of continually seeking God's perspective just so I can move forward. I'm wondering when things will begin to look up. I'll try to start that upward trend by looking up myself. Even if my circumstance doesn't change, there is still a deep joy within that cannot be lost. That's the really good part and that's also why a 15 minute bout of ick only lasts 15 minutes. Thankful for Jesus being in, around, and through me.

My Own Agenda

I've been spending a lot of time waiting for God to speak.  I ask questions and seek His guidance in multiple situations.  I realize that my prayers have been shallow though.  I have been asking God with my own answers in mind.  I'm not actually seeking His will so much as trying to impose my own. I've found that the best way to remove my own agenda from conversations with God is to ask God what He is excited about and what He is working on.  When I ask those questions, I'm not asking in regards to my life, I'm actually asking Him in the realm of the world. What is God excited about? This gives me a better perspective on what is happening in my life. I'm able to listen to God and hear what He cares about. It doesn't come easily. This can take multiple nights in a row to get myself out of the way enough that I can let God's voice come through. It is a great way  for me to focus my ears on God's voice and tune myself back into His will. His thoughts are not my thoughts, that's for sure!

Identity Theft

Every once in a while, I threaten to get off social media completely. I don't like how I react to some things that are posted. I get frustrated or comparative; sometimes I get annoyed or down on myself. This is one of those times. I need to take a moment and think about why I use social media in the first place. Here is what I know. I know that social media does not define me.  I know that I find my identity in Christ. My selfies, my posts, my likes, my friends, do not make me who I am. Only Jesus makes me who I am. When I get frustrated with people's posts or feel down about my own life, I take stock of where my relationship with Jesus is.  How much time have a I spent with Him? Have I been on social media more than I've spent time with Jesus? Unfortunately, when I find myself having negative feelings about social media, it is usually related to a lack of spending time with Jesus. Please be careful with social media and don't let it steal your identity.  Please find your identity in Jesus Christ. Spend time with Him instead of scrolling through your news feed, at least one time this week. This is my challenge for myself.

Simple

Father I pray your Spirit over him. Bind the evil one that all may go well.  I pray for protection. Give enjoyment and laughter at each turn. Reveal yourself anew and refresh the soul. Amen.

We Didn't Go

Today I recounted part of Mom's story to a friend.  We were discussing the fact that Liz, Dalton and I were not in Rochester when she had her Whipple Procedure. The friend asked if I didn't go because I knew it was going to be okay.  My answer was no. The reasons I didn't go were many. Mom didn't need me there for her. Dad would have just worried about us if we would have been there rather than taking care of himself. I knew where she was going had she not made it through the surgery. I had been able to tell her everything I wanted her to know up to that point.  She knew how much we loved her and cared for her. We believe that life does not end at death. (She came through surgery beautifully, by the way.) From that moment, I realized how important it is to be sure you tell those you love how much you love them and do so often, whether in word or deed. I'm so glad I was able to live my life with my mom to the fullest and share with her all that she was to me and for me. Liz has said many times that Mom feels more alive to her now than she did when she was with us. I agree with that. I'm tired of her not being here with us, but I know where she is and I know the deep joy she feels.

The Calm After the Storm

I listened to the storm. I read some of Ecclesiastes. I sat in the calm of the storm, hearing the tick-tock of the clock. There is something about the calm after a storm that is so peaceful. I suppose it is because our ears and eyes get tired and the quiet after the storm is a relief. I also find the calm to be soothing. It's almost as if the storm has come and cleansed everything and the calm is a time to reflect on what the Lord has just done. I think this would be a great way to look at the "storms" of life.  I know this is exactly what happened following Mom's battle with cancer.  I don't know that I would call that battle a "storm", but you get my thinking.  The year after Mom passed, my family felt like nothing was going on, that we were just kind of doing life. There was no major movement in the God realm. Then it hit me, God was giving us time off, so to speak. He gave us a year to bask in His grace after two years of being grown and stretched. We needed the time to just be. That year was very healing in many ways, but it was a great time of rest too. Since then, God has begun to move mightily in our world and we are starting to feel His leading in new ways, once again. Sometimes you just need a calm after the storm. There's something very right about that.

Invite Him

Here it is, that one day a week where I just feel worn out. My mind goes blank and I realize I haven't spent anytime just sitting with Jesus.  So here it is.  Sit with Jesus for a few minutes today. What do you notice when you sit with Him? I notice a calm and true rest for those moments. There is something so comforting when I invite Him to spend time with me and just be in His presence.  Enjoy!

Life Is Bumpy

Today I am pondering how long bumps in my road have taken to get back to regular smooth life.  For instance, in August of '15 I had a severe high ankle sprain.  I am just now, a year and a month later, finally feeling fairly normal while working out, stretching and so on. Life's physical bumps take time to mend, and they leave us with a new appreciation for our health. The same holds true with emotional bumps. My mom passed away in May of '14 and I'm still processing through all of that.  There are very difficult moments even still.  The beauty about the bumps of life are that they leave us with so much more. God is able to use our bumps to bring us closer to Him and give us grace which changes the very nature of who we are. When we go to Jesus during the healing process, we are truly able to heal. Life may not be like it once was, and that's okay. I've learned to lean on Jesus in the bumps and He gives me peace that passes understanding. He heals my heart and gives me the hope to move forward anew.

Faith Stories

One of the most comforting, most enjoyable, most incredible things about being a Jesus follower is getting to see God at work in the same way in different places.  I've been spending time thinking about my faith stories, those stories that I could share with people that show God's work in my life and have strengthened my faith. I am deeply moved today by a theme that seems to keep popping up as I journey with Jesus. I am still thinking through it and now I'm looking back to see which other faith stories have the same theme. Are there ones I missed? What are the ones to come? When we start to seek God in our world and not just be run over by the world, we get to experience His glory right now. Faith stories that show the glory of God on earth are the best. They don't even have to be our own to have an impact, which is awesome. Jesus' birth is a pretty great story about God's glory, and I think we can all agree, it's had a pretty sizable impact. ;-) Share your faith stories.  Listen to faith stories. Seek God and He will show up. Faith isn't built in a day, it is written over a lifetime.

If you're interested in a more personal look at Faith Stories, come to our Women's Retreat!

Not an Easy Task

Time seems to fly. I do normal daily tasks, and it feels like in an instant it is bedtime. I have spent the last few years really trying to pare down my commitments and focus solely on spending time doing things that bring me closer to Jesus and closer to people. Even in doing that, I find that my time seems to get away from me. I want to be still with Jesus and spend time with Him, yet the pressures of life and job seem to steal away that time. I am not one to enjoy pressure or the feeling of being obligation, yet sometimes those are the only things that keep me doing life on the world's terms. I'm not a fan. Essentially, my goal is to make time for Jesus as often as possible and when the world is too busy, still keep my focus on Him in my busyness. Not an easy task, but a worthy one to be sure.

Always To You

Father, may you be near in any and every situation. May we turn to you in the joy and sorrow. I pray that you would be my only comfort, stronghold, and peace in a world where there are so many ways to try to fulfill your promises without you. I pray I always look to you. Amen.

What I've Learned

Here's a few gems I've learned:

- God is in the business of redemption...and that means ALL things.
- God knows how you feel anyway, so you might as well own it.
- Blessings come out of some of the crummiest situations...even cancer.
- Jesus prays on our behalf. He gets it.
- The Spirit is alive and moving.
- God's thoughts are not my thoughts. ;-)
- God gives us the specific grace we need when we need it, not before and not after.
- When all seems lost, the only light you need is Jesus.
- God has a plan for you. He thinks about you all the time, even when it doesn't feel like it.
- Jesus knows what to do.

Frustrated With God

I really don't have words today. I am incredibly frustrated with life right now. I don't understand what is happening. Nothing seems to play in our favor. I know God is moving, but right now I am frustrated with Him. There, I said it. I'm frustrated with God. I don't know what He's up to and He doesn't seem to be showing too much of His hand. Doors just seems to be closing. There is a glimmer of hope and then the door slams shut. Thankfully, God is big enough to handle my frustration.  Thankfully, God knows me well enough to know what I need and when I need it. Right now, I am struggling to see that providence in our current situation. I'm praying He shows me His will very soon, because I'm growing weary of the battle.

The Year of Almost

This has been the Year of Almost for me. It seems that every time I get to a spot where things look promising, there is a disappointment. I get almost to the top of the mountain and then I'll stumble downward. I start seeing the silver lining and then the clouds begin to backfill. I don't know what this is about.  The last time a similar situation happened with so many almosts, I was a Senior in high school. I don't care to repeat that now 20 years down the road. I'm trying to glean from this experience something even deeper than I did at 18. I haven't gotten to that thought yet, but that's what I've been talking to God about.  I'm hoping it's not the next lesson in pride or control, but it very well may be.  Humbling experiences and out of control moments seem to be around every corner these days.  I continue to cling to Jesus and let Him take me through. I'm assured I will eventually reach the mountain top, it just might take a little longer than I thought.

Under the Weather

Feeling a bit under the weather today.  I'll be back online tomorrow.  Sorry y'all.

One of My Favorites

Romans 8:31-39 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Psalm 42

Psalm 42: 1-6 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?" These things I remember as I pour out my soul; how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng. Why are you down cast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

The Living Word

Matthew 10:39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

I read all of chapter 10 today. It was a good read and something I need. Jesus tells his disciples about persecution and following him. He reminds them that they are with God and have no need to be afraid. Honestly, the best part about reading this passage was that I felt the living Word.  Something about just simply reading the chapter made my soul feel whole.  There were lots of powerful statements by Jesus and many good teachings, but the truth is in the Word itself.  The Bible speaks to our souls if we will open our hearts and allow Him in. I encourage you to take time to read some scripture in the next few days.  As a matter of fact, over this Labor Day weekend, all I'm going to post are scriptures.  Enjoy the your long weekend and make some time with Jesus.

An Air of Activity

I'm having an overall feeling of not knowing what's coming and it's making me very excited. Typically I would be in a bit of a panic, but not this time. I have no clue what's coming and I don't know when, but I just have a feeling it's something great. There seem to be so many things in the works and God is detailing each of them so beautifully.  He is molding hearts and building relationships. He's opening doors and closing them. There is just an air of activity and it's invigorating. I'm trying to stay focused on Him and not get distracted. I love how God knows us so well that He knows exactly what we need to keep pushing forward.  He knows what draws us near and He knows what transforms our hearts. You know I love anticipation, and this is a big ol' heapin' helpin' of it.  Go, God, Go!

Slow Down

I'm noticing that once a week I feel the need to just sit with Jesus. I don't want to pray or read my Bible or listen to music or think deep thoughts. I just want to sit with Him. I'm pretty sure this desire is the Spirit in me saying, "Slow down and just be still." I'm following His leading.